Hi.

No, I didn’t get taken away with Jesus in the rapture. Sorry to disappoint. From what I can tell no one else did either though so I’m still in good company here on earth.

So… what’s going on?

 

Welllll. A lot and nothing. At the same time. You know. Stuff. And things. The sad fact is I haven’t blogged worth a damn in a month so get ready to be absolutely OVERLOADED with images of my children. And me. And stuff. And things. Oh and food porn. YES. Food. Porn.

Apologies.

Off we go.

I tend to lose track of what I’ve told you between here and instagram, where I am a certified photo whore, and facebook, where I occasionally stop in to to post a video or photo or to complain about exhaustion or attempt to be witty for 30 seconds. Generally failing by the way.  SO if you’re inclined, and have an iphone, follow me on IG… I’m jonie (the ‘E’ is for Edelman. That’s my last name. And it’s means NOBLEMAN in German. Which I am not. Though I am in fact German) or alternatively if you like, add me on facebook… Go click over there —-> (if you can’t see my little photo and mini bio with social media links then click up there on the header to go back to the homepage where those things will magically appear because I haven’t gotten this problem fixed with the page yet AND then go add me on facebook and IG. Annnd breath.)

 

And you can see awesome stuff like me posting a video of Ella dancing to MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This. Yeah. That happened.

Annnnyway. The garden is planted:

It hasn’t been doing as well as I’d hoped because, well basically, we live on dirt that has no life left in it. It’s dead dirt if there is such a thing as dirt that is dead. I suspect given the location of our house that once some tree probably grew here. Walnut. Or Peach. Or cotton (not a tree just a bush). Or corn. Or any combination of all of those things. In any event, the soil is devoid of nutrient and hard like a rock. I meant to plant a nice crop of peas in the winter that I could till in to enrich the soil but alas, as is so often my excuse reason these days, I was exhausted.

I wasn’t too exhausted to bake these:

Or these:

It seems that no matter how exhausted I am I can find time to whip up a flippin cupcake. Oh how lucky for me.

Yeah. No.

IN OTHER news… The cherry tree never lets me down. See:

Oh well except for the fact the the birds pecked every GODFORSAKENMOTHERFLIPPIN cherry. And then, when they had what the could reach before the dog chased them off, the ants found the cherries and ate the rest. So in the end I ate 5 cherries. They were delicious though, those 5 little beauties.

Also my roses didn’t seem to mind the shit soil:

So yay. Only downside there is they only bloom once. WHHHHY? Why can’t they bloom all summer? David Austen MUST know that would absolutely MAKE MY LIFE.

Oh AND someone, praise the little baby Jesus in the manger, got TEETH. FINALLY. TWO OF THEM.

 


Soooo of course everyone is sleeping peacefully through the night now.

Yeah. No. Still not sleeping.

Cest la vie.

 

This kid:

He turned 13. God. Help. Me. Oh and apparently he taught himself to play the trombone in 60 seconds. Though to be fair, he already knew how to play the trumpet. So there’s that. See:

He’s the ubercool kid in the Spy sunglasses. With the hair. Oh the hair. Also he’s taller than me now. And yesterday we were talking about divorce and families (as that is happening to a couple of families we know recently) and how it gets easier with time and he said (AND I QUOTE) “MOM, divorce is a weight I carry upon my shoulders. Constantly. It’s like an EMOTIONAL BACKPACK. It’s a BACKPACK of EMOTION. Do you hear what I’m saying?”

Uh yeah. I hear you dude. Annnnnd the Oscar goes to…..

He. Is. Awesome.

So anyway he wanted chocolate cake for his birthday. With Chocolate frosting. With chocolate on top. Was I exhausted? Did I bake it?

Duh.

For his birthday we got him the coolest guitar EVAH. Cause oh yeah, he plays that too.

You may notice the strings are missing. Yes, it IS difficult to play a guitar with no strings, thank you for recognizing. They are missing BECAUSE 4 days after we bought him said guitar, it fell out of the back of my MONSTER Sequoia and broke in two pieces like a 90 year old hip (actually to be fair those usually break in more than two pieces. Poor fragile elderly ladies. God love em). SO yeah. Bummer. Like bad. We are fixing it now. Thank GOD my husband is a musical GENIUS. Phew.

Anyway that kid… He looks a little like me.

Just a little EXACTLY LIKE ME. Poor kid.

And her:

She thinks she looks just like her dad.

 

Uh huh. Sure.

Oh also I made some stuff:

That’s a necklace.

And this:

Is a pillowcase. Which will soon be available in my etsy shop. Where there is now absolutely not one SINGLE thing.

Alllllso… Hens.

Yes. Hens. For eggs. I needed one more thing to do.

Oh and one last thing. This happened.

 

That, my friends, is Stef. You may know her as Stef from Hear Me Roar but I know her just as Stef, the girl who was one year behind me in school. And now, I’m so pleased to say (ahem some 20 + years later) I also know her as friend.

 

Until next month, or you know, the next time i bake something, thanks for coming along.

 

xo ~ j

sisterhood , stuff. and things , teenagers , things kids say , things that happened this week

My friend Liz published THIS blog post this morning. Please read it. I’ll wait. See you in 10 minutes.

Back? Ok good.

I’m gonna be honest. That kinda gave me a headache. It’s a whole bunch of sad but true information.

And I couldn’t agree more with Liz. She hit the ol’ nail on the proverbial head with that one. Cause yeah you know what NO ONE IS PERFECT. No one. Nope, not you. You over there… NO. Not you either. You may be doing better than me on some things. I may be doing better that you on some things but NO ONE is perfect. Let go of that notion and free yourself from the prison that is your own expectation.

You. Are. Not. Perfect.

And what do I have to say in response to Liz?

I don’t use paper towels (or toilet paper, or tampons). I’m awesome?

No.

I like white flour. A lot. (even though I have wheat to make bread. Have you ever had a whole wheat cookie? Yeah. No)

I use cloth diapers. Yay!

I buy doritos. Boo.

I breastfeed and attachment parent. Sweet.

I let Ella cry while I finished sewing a seam on a pillowcase. I suck?

I like high heels. Sexy.

I like ballet flats. Comfy.

I like Birkenstocks. Functional?

I make cake from scratch. Yum.

It’s still cake. Oops.

I like whole food. Yes.

I like cookies. And yes.

I buy almond butter. So yummy.

I buy Jif peanut butter. Yeah. Also yummy.

I make pie from scratch. It has apples in it. Apples are FRUIT. Fruit is good for you. Therefore pie is good for you.

It also has crisco in it. Oh. Never mind.

I drink water in reusable water bottles. Always. Saving the earth. One evian at a time.

I drink diet soda. In styrofoam. Or plastic. I’m probably going to have a stroke.

I don’t go to church and I probably don’t pray to your god. Also I don’t feel like I need saving. Thank you.

I still think spirituality is important. And I want you to worship however you want to. I’ll fight for that right for you. Forreals.

I am pro choice. Yes. I am.

I love babies. Yes. I do.

I’m liberal. Surprised?

If you’re aren’t liberal I (probably) still love you. No lie.

Amen.

Now I’m going to go have some chocolate. You should too.

hot points , stuff. and things , wordy whiny wednesday