This week brought to you by The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I have this book audio version. If you haven’t read (or heard) it I encourage you to.


Weeks pregnant: 18 weeks 2 days.

Weight: 188 lbs.

I drank a 12 ounce glass of milk a day (with instant breakfast) for two weeks and THAT happened (I started with the milk because I NEEDED that 20 grams of protein. Pregnant women should get 80-100 grams a day and I was getting about 40 maybe).  I’m trying not to freak out but I will admit… I’m freaking out a little bit. Because I started this pregnancy so much heavier than I am used to being (read: the biggest I’ve ever been) it’s REALLY hard for me to watch the scale climb. I know I NEED to gain weight for the health of the baby overall (or studies suggest anyway) but I wish I didn’t have to. I don’t WANT to weigh over 200 pounds, and I know it’s just a number, I do, but I don’t want to exceed it. That all being said I won’t ignore the scale because I’d rather watch and KNOW what’s happening than just put faith in my body to gain the right amount. Because let’s face it, my body likes CAKE. With the prior pregnancies I’ve gained anywhere from 30-55 pounds and my body seemed to regulate itself pretty well without me paying any attention (40 with Kelsey {started at 138}, 35  with Sean {started at 150}, 30 ish with Owen {started at 155}, 55 with Ella {started at 140, but had been 123 about two months prior, I gained that 17 pounds at Matt’s request}). I think now, a combination of my age and having been pregnant so many times, my body does different things with weight gain so I’m mindful of that.

Gain: +5 lbs total overall (that’s +2, actually 2.5 if I include the decimals, in ONE week. I hadn’t gained anything in 10 weeks so I guess I’m due to gain SOMETHING.)

Waist :  44.5 at the bellybutton

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44″ and 44″.

Average number of times I get up to pee per night: 4. FOUR.

Size of the baby bean: 9 inches. MANGO.

Weight: HALF a pound!

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: It’s been a better week. Ella is still sleeping like crap so I’m still tired making me still emotional but I’m TRYING to not cry every time I turn around. This baby is getting real. And I’m finally starting to feel excited and not just scared of how crazy I’ll be with two little kids and three big ones.

Physical crap: My round ligament pain is up a notch this week. It’s always there but now it’s REALLY always there. Also pelvic pain and pressure. I HAVE 22 WEEKS LEFT. I’m not excited about already waddling and feeling way more pregnant than I am. But I guess being pregnant this many times will do that. Also itchy itchy belly. Ugh. Using coconut oil for that

What I want to devour: I REALLY want banana bread this week. I haven’t made it yet. Sigh.

What makes me want to hurl: not much thankfully

Supplements:  Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2). Papaya enzyme for the reflux/heartburn. It is actually quite helpful. And my friend, the Prevacid.

Activity: Some bike riding. Some walking. I’m parking far from the store and trying to use my stairs more times a day (just going up for no real reason) but I’m ALREADY having a rough time moving around. And the pool is freezing. So none of that.

Boy? Or girl?: Boy. Still boy. STILL. BOY. 2 weeks.

Names: Boy: Maxwell {insert exciting middle name here} Girl: Maggie Anne. Done. Picked.

In other news: Regular kicks now. Regular like every time I sit down I can be guaranteed to feel something. Yesterday I even felt them from OUTSIDE (which is saying something considering my layer of *ahem* padding). I am SO happy to be finally feeling regular kicks. It’s funny because we seemed to have completely bipassed the wiggly, fluttery stage. It’s as if the baby just needed to be able to contact the uterine wall. Now that he (she) can he’s able to put his strength to work in there. There’s a HUGE difference in a 12 week (half an OUNCE) versus an 18 week fetus (half a POUND). SO really that makes perfect sense.

BABY PREP: Diapers WASHED. Also went to the Carter’s outlet and used a 20% off in addition to the 40% they had already marked down to buy two gowns (unisex) and hats and two sleepers (unisex and BOY) and socks (boy). It’s risky buying boy stuff but I did the same with Ella because I was SURE (I had her entire bedding set by 20 weeks because I got it on clearance at target for about 60% off). Also the few Kate Quinn things I ordered came this week. Nightgown. Blanket. Onesie. T-shirt. They are more boy than girl but could work for either. Also a good twitter friend (NEVER underestimate the power of social networking, people) is sending me some diapers (and clothes for Ella) and saving her baby boy stuff for me. Because she’s AWESOME. (and her baby was born last year in March)

Tandem nursing update (BOOBS BOOBS and more boobs. you may skip):

Things are status quo with the nursing. Ella nurses to nap or at night sometimes (if I’m putting her down, I’ve been having dad do the bedtime duty when he’s home) and occasionally during the day just to snuggle or soothe. She’s able to fall asleep without nursing now even if I put her down. I just pay her in the bed and pat her back for a few minutes. It takes a little more time but my hope is that she will at some point soon be able to just fall asleep after being laid in her bed. Her total nursing time is probably less than 15 minutes a day (keeping in mind that even when I had milk a nursing session only lasted 5-10 minutes because of my super fast letdown and presumably her very efficient suck).


And here’s the (bare for a change) belly photo:


baby baking , second trimester , tandem nursing

This week brought to you by three hysterical breakdowns, one sainted husband and three consecutive hours of sleep. This is a long post because I have a lot to discuss. Nursing. Weight gain. Blood sugars. Emotional breakdowns. All covered today.


Weeks pregnant: 17 weeks. ON THE NOSE. Look at me posting on time! Woot

Weight: 186 lbs  A note on gain: After our long bike ride last week my weight popped up 3 lbs. OVERNIGHT. (This always happens when I exert myself. It’s a fluid muscle storage thing). I panicked. I didn’t think about the ride only OMG WHAT DID I EAT? anyway. I’ve done a LOT of research about weight gain in pregnancy. I feel like I should devote a post to it. Suffice it to say NO MATTER your starting BMI (even if it’s >30 which is considered “obese”, mine was 29. Do I LOOK obese? Don’t answer that.) to gain zero weight has adverse outcomes for baby. My goal is to gain 15-20 pounds. I’m probably right on track to do that.

Gain: +3 lbs total overall (I haven’t gained a pound since week 8)

Waist :  35 at the skinny (I’m going to stop including this) 44.5 at the bellybutton

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44″ and 44″.

Average number of times I get up to pee per night: every time I get woken up. Probably because I am drinking a gallon of water at night.

Size of the baby bean: 5.5 inches SWEET POTATO

Weight: 5 ounces. Whoa.

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: I’m not going to sugar coat this week. IT SUCKED ASS. Matt was gone to a big conference in the big City and I was alone and EX.HAUS.TED (because Ella is cutting molars and therefore sleeping like CRAP) but also alone and exhausted while he was getting to have fun. And by fun I mean DRINKING ALCOHOL amd SEEING THE SHINS in concert and running in a hamster ball and staying at the awesome Hilton. I really struggled with this because it’s part of his JOB to have fun (and he works REALLY hard) and he’s not TRYING to make me miserable. It’s not his fault. Really. It just seems to happen. And I assume it’s natural for me to be envious of his getting a break while I get perpetually MORE exhausted, but to have a hysterical breakdown? THAT’S probably hormonal. I’m just guessing. In any case, that was an ugly personal moment for me crying to my husband about how UNJUST AND UNFAIR life is for me right now, but I’m sharing it with you because i want YOU to know that PREGNANCY MAKES WOMEN INSANE SOMETIMES. Totally. Batshit. Crazy. He took over night duty two nights this week with Ella and even though I woke up every time she woke up not having to GET up and stand over her bed made a HUGE difference in my energy and attitude. Not that I don’t still want a martini.

Physical crap: One word: Prevacid. I COULD NOT take it anymore. The reflux was killing me. I didn’t want to eat anything ever. Not that I’m trying to gain weight, because I’m not, but there were two days this week where I just forced food down.  Also my belleh? It’s getting big. Like in the way big. I measure about 22 weeks right now and reaching the floor is a challenge. I’m picking up a lot of crap with my toes. I cleaned behind the fridge and under it and mopped the kitchen on hands and knees. Not sure how much longer I can do that. Also. HEADACHES. Bullshit. Period. Nothing works.

Also, this week I started checking my blood sugar both fasting and 1 or 2 hours after eating. WHY? Well after careful consideration and research I decided that I didn’t feel like one snapshot (the glucose tolerance test) of my sugar after fasting and then drinking something SUPER SUGARY was enough. Nor was it accurate. With Ella I opted out of the glucose testing completely because I honestly don’t feel like it’s super accurate and I know I’m not diabetic. BUT then she was HUGE and my midwife was like wellll hey maybe we should check and I was like wellll  let me think on that. Conclusion: I would rather have a big picture of what my sugars look like than a one day image. Here’s what I’ve found. My fasting sugars run anywhere from 63-85 (70-110 is normal). Postprandial (after meals) runs 85-94 average. I had ONE reading of 113 and hour and a half after I ate a banana. Normal is < 120 1 hour after and < 105 two hours after. Anything > 140 is considered a danger zone. The diagnostic numbers are basically anything higher than 180 at one hour or 153 at 2 hours. WELL, as you can clearly see I am NOWHERE near those numbers. If anything I’m a little on the hypoglycemic side. SO take that. It looks like maybe I just make big babies anyway. That all being said, I AM going to watch what I eat. Limiting simple sugars and carbs (white flour and sugar mostly) and watching my overall gain. But this whole fear factor of OMG YOU’RE A DIABETIC? Bull. Crap.

What I want to devour: I’m not overwhelmed with any “I MUST HAVE THIS” feelings. I’m grateful. Because usually those cravings are for things I should’t eat. I did eat a whole box of Special K red berries this week though. And vinegar-y things. Pickles. Olives. Pepperocinis. YUM.

What makes me want to hurl: not much thankfully

Supplements: Red Raspberry Leaf (2 caps). I haven’t been taking this AT ALL because I can’t STAND the taste of it. Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2). Papaya enzyme for the reflux/heartburn. It is actually quite helpful. And my friend, the Prevacid.

Activity: We took a long hard bike ride last weekend. HARD. With hills. It was rough. I won’t do that again. I’m doing some yoga but need to pull out the DVD to be legit I think. Right now I feel like the stretching and chasing after Ella is enough. I’ve been too damn tired to do much more.

Boy? Or girl?: Boy. Still boy. STILL. BOY. 3 weeks, people. THREE.

Names: Boy: Maxwell {insert exciting middle name here} Girl: Maggie Anne. Done. Picked.

In other news: Um not much to report. I’m obsessing about not feeling this baby move a lot. And when I can’t sit still and GET a movement I freak out and grab the doppler (twice now). He’s in there. Still 136-144 BPM. But I get paranoid. I am assuming this lack of constant kicking is a feature of the fact that my uterus is a CAVERN. I mean it’s 22 weeks huge with a 17 week fetus baby in there. As Matt put it, “He’s kicking into thin air honey.” Probably true. Still worrisome.

BABY PREP: I’m still working on the wool soakers. Bought some little socks and some newborn sized babylegs in boy-ish patterns (75% off yo). Once I know it’s a boy (or girl) I’ll get some gowns and such. Or maybe just grab some unisex stuff from Carters outlet. I sold Ella’s fuzzi bunz since we’re using the prefolds and soakers and with those proceeds was able to buy ALL the prefolds the new baby will need. Plus doublers.  No covers though. I also got two grovia AIO’s for the up to 15 pound stage. I’m planning on knitting more soakers and maybe buying a couple of velcro ones.

Tandem nursing update (BOOBS BOOBS and more boobs. you may skip):

With the milk nil our patterns have changed. Ella nurses to naps and bed (if I’m doing bed duty) and checks in during the day for a quick one or two minute session here and there. I’ve been really reflective this last couple of weeks. Losing my milk was hard. Really hard.  I felt really betrayed by my body. I WANT to nurse through this pregnancy WHY won’t my body cooperate. I felt really guilty and resentful even. I cried a lot and moaned a lot and fretted a lot. But I’ve come to a real place of peace. First: Our relationship as mother and baby has evolved into something new and different. Because there is no food involved in the nursing anymore, it’s about comfort and closeness which is sweet and special in a new way. (To those of you this weirds out… the first time I thought about “dry” nursing it seemed weird to me. Why would you continue to nurse if there is no milk? Well all I can say is that once you’re in that situation your feelings about it might change as mine have. Now I can embrace my relationship with Ella as about more than just food. I hadn’t really considered this before I was faced with it). Second: I have come to appreciate the space in my bed as she learns to sleep without nursing constantly. This hasn’t been easy for me. It felt like a real failure to be forced to night wean, but as I have said before, I do believe things happen for a reason. There is always something to be gleaned from the difficult moments in life. This is one. And with peace and reflection I can see that too. I hope she’ll be back to sleeping with Matt and I soon because we do like the family bed BUT that being said, if being in her own bed works out better for her I won’t push it. Soon enough there will be another little person there and he (or she) needs his (or her) space too.


And here’s the belly photo:

baby baking , pregnancy , second trimester

This week brought to you by an extra two hours of sleep and MILK. Lots of milk.


Weeks pregnant: 15 and 5 days

Weight: 186 lbs (fluctuating from 185.2-187.0)

Gain: +3 lbs total

Waist : 34 at the skinny 44 at the bellybutton (minus one up top, plus one below)

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44″ and 44″. Soooo I’m a square. Awesome.

Average number of times I get up to pee per night: does 10 million sound like an exaggeration?

Size of the baby bean: 4-5 inches (AVOCADO)

Weight: 3-5 ounces! That’s like HALF A CUP!

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: We’ll talk about that a little further down…

Physical crap: I don’t want to throw up all the time. Yay. But the reflux. UGH. It’s so bad.

What I want to devour: I can’t really say I’ve had ANY intense cravings. Which is actually really good news.

What makes me want to hurl: not much thankfully

Supplements: Red Raspberry Leaf (2 caps). Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2). Papaya enzyme for the reflux/heartburn. It is actually quite helpful

Activity: I’ve been bike riding when I can. Usually 6-7 miles. I am going to take a leisurely walk soon just to be outside.

Boy? Or girl?: Boy. Still boy. 4 weeks, FOUR.

Names: Boy: Maxwell {insert exciting middle name here} Girl: Maggie Anne. Done. Picked.

In other news: I am really kind of alarmed that I don’t feel this baby moving. Like at all. There have been a few isolated times I *thought* I was feeling something but as soon as I stop to see, no more. Of course. I’m almost 16 weeks which is still early by most standards for fetal movement but I personally usually feel something by now (keeping in mind that the fetus weighs SO very little at this point that for it to be able to produce movement strong enough to transmit through to the uterine wall is still difficult. At 12 weeks? {When I thought I felt my first Ella wiggles…} The fetus weighs a HALF an ounce. That’s half a tablespoon. SO you can see why feeling movement that early is unusual and considered impossible by many OB’s.) Anyway. Here I sit. Reading my journal from Ella i see I wrote that I began to feel regular movement around 16 weeks. And from the outside at 19-20. Also I measure far bigger than 15.5 weeks.20-21 at this point so obviously there is plenty of room in there for the little guy to swim around without hitting the wall. Still because I’m a woman and a mother I sometimes get irrationally frightened. The other night I dreamt the baby didn’t have legs. And then last night I was SURE he must have an abnormality that causes muscle atrophy so he can’t kick at all. Yes. This is motherhood. I also have regular dreams that I forget one or more children somewhere. (As i finished writing this I got 3 good kicks from baby. Sigh)

BABY PREP: I’ve cleaned out the small dresser than used to hold my bras and underwear and socks and lingerie, it now holds baby things (currently a few t-shirts and some unisex onesies that I pulled from Ella’s stuff). This was also the small dresser I used for Sean so it’s been around. It’s only got four small drawers but I don’t suspect we will have a whole lot of stuff for this kid unless it does turn out to be a girl (and even then I just gifted all Ella’s stuff to my new niece Pippa). I’m still working on soakers. We’ve (or I’ve I guess) decided to use them with prefolds (or fitteds) exclusively. I am going to buy a couple of AIO diapers for nighttime (groVia most likely because they are all natural fibers). If money was no object I’d probably buy all groVia’s because they are quite nice but alas it is, and at $22 for the one size it’s a little rich for my blood. I listed all of Ella’s fuzzi bunz on eBay this week and once that auction ends I’ll order the dipes we need with that money. The auction should result in enough money to get them all.

Tandem nursing update (BOOBS BOOBS and more boobs. you may skip):

Well if you follow the blog you know that since the last update things have changed dramatically. My milk is all but completely gone. And I’m sad. Really. Really. Sad. This is NOT how I saw things going. Not at all. Yesterday Ella nursed before morning nap. Once in the afternoon. Once before bed. That’s it. Three times in 24 hours. I’m practicing the “offer and don’t refuse” rule but she is really just SO busy that she just isn’t interested in working for something that is just a lot of work with no milk. She likes to nurse and snuggle and she will do that every now and then but mostly. Not. She’s had a real explosion with walking and language this last week. And she is just busy. So busy. She’s always been a never sit still baby looking all around checking things out (when we go to starbucks with other moms and babies SHE is the baby that won’t sit and eat her banana. She has to crawl all over the damned place) but lately this is really magnified. And I don’t mean she walks into another room to explore and play with whatever toys might be in there. I  mean she walks in the other room, then she walks back where she came from. Then she figures out how to open the stair gate and climb the stairs. Then she’s in the bathroom. Then she’s in the boys room playing with their toys. I want so desperately somedays to contain her to one room so I can rest while she plays around me but she won’t SIT STILL AT ALL. It’s been my experience in parenting that there are two kinds of intelligent kids. There are sit still and quietly observe kids. They don’t make a lot of noise. They don’t demand constant attention. They are content to watch others. And THEN there are the Ella’s.The kids that insist on exploring their surroundings. My 13 year old was just like that. He went to bed late. Woke up early. Walked early. Talked early. Never sat still. Never took the simple answer. Poured over books. Asked a constant barrage of questions.  This is Ella. And not surprisingly, me. Anyway, I feel like while she loves to be near me and to to cuddle, she loves her momma, she’s also balancing that with being a really inquisitive kid who doesn’t WANT to sit still to nurse. Especially if there isn’t milk there.

So where does this leave us (sorry that was WAAAAY off topic)? Well I really want to tandem nurse these two babies. I want Ella to nurse until she’s two for lot of reasons but mostly because my milk is her best insurance of health right now. I also hoped that the tandeming would make the transition to having another baby a little smoother. And? I really just love the idea of nourishing them both. I know this baby is our last (for SURE) and I want to treasure his (or her) infancy but ALSO Ella’s. We opted to have another baby as soon as we did because I don’t want to be having kids into my 40’s (though there is NOTHING wrong with that, I’ve just been having babies since i was 20 and I’m tired, also I want to spend time with my awesome husband before we are 75). So I’m rushing her out of infancy I feel sometimes and I want to hang on to that a little while longer. I hope my milk (or colostrum) comes back well before the end of the pregnancy (varied from mom to mom from 20 weeks up til a week or two before birth).

In the meantime, I don’t know if she’ll wean completely before then. I hope not but what happens will happen and I’m trying hard to embrace that these things happen as the should. Of she does wean then well, it was meant to go that way, and if not well then that. Not knowing what the future holds is hard for a person like me who likes order but I really appreciate the opportunity to learn to trust that things will be as they should. It’s an exercise in patience and faith.

And here’s the belly photo:

baby baking , breastfeeding , operation Baby #5 , second trimester

This week brought to you by gallons of water and orange juice. I missed a week. WHY? WHY YOU ASK? Well because Ella was sick with hand, foot, mouth AKA COXSACKIE disease (WHO THE EFF named that) and she didn’t sleep all week. THEN when things were looking up and I was feeling better and she was feeling better Matt got sick and that’s a bunch of bull.crap people. BULL.CRAP.

Anyway…Welcome to TRIMESTER TWO folks. The trimester of bliss and planning. Of baby kicks and nursery painting. Of BOUNDLESS ENERGY and CRAVINGS.

Yeah still waiting… Also no nursery so no need to paint!


Weeks pregnant: 14

Weight: 186 lbs (fluctuating from 185.2-187.0)

Gain: +2.4 lbs total (-.6 from last week)

Waist : 34 at the skinny 43 at the bellybutton (minus one up top)

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44″ and 45″. Still. So I guess my butt is staying the same size.

Average number of times I get up to pee per night:  I’m too tired to remember

Size of the baby bean: 3.5 inches size of my fist roughly

Weight:1.4 whole ounces

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: Been reading this great Deepak Chopra book and I love it. It’s caused me to more deeply examine my feelings and I’m enjoying that. I’m working hard to let go of fears and to trust my body and this baby. It’s a leap of faith that I don’t think can be understood by everyone. This experience is very unique to this pregnancy. Through this kind of self examination I’ve also realized that I took a lot of fear into Ella’s birth. I sadly did not have the peace I wanted before her birth. I know that expecting perfection is a set up for failure and I don’t expect the perfect birth. I know that the only thing really predictable about birth is that it is unpredictable and I’m ready to embrace that. But I feel now like I didn’t really take the time to listen to my body with Ella. I was fearful of something going wrong and I think this prevented me from really being in tune. I feel a real need to be more introspective with this birth. This is FOR SURE my last birth and while I’m not expecting perfection I want to implement the things I’ve learned about myself personally to get to a place of peace. I’m listening to hypnobabies and focusing on affirmations for pregnancy. I’ll keep you posted on that.

Physical crap: Good days are starting to outnumber bad! I’m less sick by FAR but still struggling with being so.damn.tired.

What I want to devour: Sadly or gratefully, nothing. Hopefully this is my body’s way of keeping me from gaining 50 pounds. I’m feeling good about it.

What makes me want to hurl: Still with the sugar. Cake. Cookies. Nope. Weird.

Supplements: Red Raspberry Leaf (2 caps). Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2).

Activity: The contractions have sadly halted my walking. Even at a slow pace of about 17 minute miles I will contract every 3 or so minutes. I can’t tell you how discouraging this is. Not only did I enjoy the walking I really enjoyed the physical activity and feeling a little more fit. And though the contractions probably aren’t really doing anything to my cervix it’s still not a good idea to participate in an activity that will cause me to contract. I’m going to take a week to do yoga and get centered. This isn’t the time to be fast or furious. As much as I want to burn calories with cardiovascular activity I am also listening to what my body says and right now my body says do something else. Still riding my bike with Matt when we can (we rode 7.35 miles this morning). I like that but those days are numbered because it’s going to be cold eventually (I HOPE).

Boy? Or girl?: Boy. Still boy. Five weeks five days and counting.

Names: Boy: Maxwell {insert exciting middle name here} Girl: Maggie Anne. Done. Picked. 26 weeks left and the kid has a name. HOWEVER I can’t say that the girl name wouldn’t change should it actually BE a girl. After I picked myself up off the floor then I’d have to make sure I really LOVE Maggie.

In other news: I have felt wiggles. VERY light and only a couple of times. This makes me a little sad because I want to be feeling this baby more but I’m just not.  I try to sit still to feel but the fact is I just don’t sit very still unless I’m sleeping. We were able to hear the baby’s heartbeat this week with the doppler we have. I tried at 11 weeks without success and was discouraged. Then I tried again about a week and a half ago and was able to SEE it on the display but not hear it. But yesterday we HEARD and SAW. 144  BPM.

BABY PREP (new feature this week): I am knitting a wool soaker for Ella which isn’t EXACTLY for baby M BUT I’m perfecting my skills to start knitting them for this baby (I will do a tutorial and explain both the process and the beauty of WOOL soon, in the meantime the quick explanation is it a wool cover that you put over a prefold diaper which has been secured with pins or snappis). Also I bought one soaker from etsy. I LOVE ETSY. And Kate Quinn was on zulily this week (AND I LOVE KATE QUINN). I splurged on one nightgown, one blanket and one kimono onsie. And in case you’re wondering they are in boy colors (one is yellow so neutral). So if it’s NOT a boy well I’m screwed I guess (I’ll just give them to my friend Emily who is probably having a boy, or save them for a very nice gift). Anyway I love Kate Quinn. Ella had one Kate Quinn outfit that sadly is not gender neutral and it was my absolute favorite thing she owned (my awesome friend Rie gave it to us). I’d love to have nothing but Kate nightgowns and sleepers for this baby but alas they are about $40 a piece regular priced. SO that’s not happening. Watching eBay too. :)

Tandem nursing update (BOOBS BOOBS and more boobs. you may skip):

I  am (or was til Ella got sick) far less sore. Thankfully. It was a rough few weeks but it’s getting better. I’m really glad I stuck it out (not that I was going to give up). If we are home and the boobs are readily available Ella will nursing sometimes once an hour. If we are out and about she may go up to 4 hours between (as long as she has some string cheese). At night she nurses to sleep about 8-9 and then wakes up around 11-12 to nurse again. Then sleeps another 2-3 hours and nurses again and then from 2 or 3 or so until we get up she is usually right by me and off and on connected.  Since Ella was sick this week and eating very little I’m back to being sore but I suspect this will resolve quickly once she’s less attached. Also her sleep habits have sucked. We have been up every night from 2 or 3 am until 4 or 5 and then only sleeping another hour or two until she’s up for the day. So hopefully that’s resolving because I AM TIRED.

And here’s the belly photo:


baby baking , pregnancy , second trimester

Week number 7 in the baby baking series. This week brought to you by MEDITERRANEAN FOOD AGAIN.


Weeks pregnant: 11 (Depending on how you week the whole pregnancy week thing you can now say we are entering week 12. )

Weight: 186 lbs

Gain: +3 lbs total (no change from last week.. I went down a pound at weeks start but had put it back on by yesterday)

Waist : 35 at the skinny 42.5 at the bellybutton

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44″ and 45″. That’s right. 44 and 45 INCHES. Buh dunk. A dunk.

Average number of times I get up to pee per night:  One. I’m too tired to get up more than that. I just hold it.

Size of the baby bean: We’ve got a lime in there people! 2.5 inches and it’s got FINGERNAILS and teeth buds!

Weight: WHOA. 1/4-1/2 ounce in our case probably half a pound

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: Lots of continued nerves this week and general crankiness. I’m tired and that doesn’t help. And still frustrated about food and worried about making a moose baby.

Physical crap: I’ve had at least a couple of days where I didn’t feel SUPER SICK. And even a couple of nights. I think hope is on the horizon.

What I want to devour: Mediterranean food. Yeah. Still. I’m turing into a garbanzo bean.

What makes me want to hurl: The list is long. Basically if it doesn’t sound good it sounds BAD.

Supplements: Red Raspberry Leaf (2 caps). Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2).  I’ve been hearing about taking D from EVERYONE. It’s like the whole world is suddenly D deficient. That may be true but I hold on to my feeling that vitamins mostly make expensive pee. Or maybe my instructor just drilled that into me with the whole have you ever LOOKED at your pee after taking vitamins? Especially A, D, E and K the fat soluble ones.  Because of how they work and are absorbed. These vitamins are stored in the liver so you actually can have a reserve of them when you don’t use what you have on hand. NOW it’s been a while since I was in school and I’m NOT a nutritionist. But I gotta be frank. I feel like food (or diet) and vitamin trends are well, trendy. Remember Atkins? Remember no sugar no fat? REMEMBER juice fasting and total body cleansing? Yeah. Point. Made. A well rounded healthy diet will take you far. Am I D deficient? Maybe. I’m not sure. In the meantime I guess all told I’m taking about 2000 IUI a day just because of the existing supplements I take so I haven’t added any additional.

Activity: Walking 3 or biking 6-7. It’s been rough going some days but I’m doing it.

Boy? Or girl?: Boy. Still boy. 9 weeks and counting.

Names: Pretty sure we’re decided on Maxwell? Max. Maxwell something. Edgard? I think Edgard. There’s a story behind that. I’ll tell you someday.   I think it’s ironic that we completely agreed on TWO boys names with Ella. And TWO girls names now. But can’t decide on a boy. Almost positive it would be Margaret Anne (Maggie) if it’s a girl (but yeah. It’s not). If it is I’m going to faint right there in the office. I swear.

In other news: I’ve been working really hard to stop obsessively worrying about delivering a moose. I’ve been reminding myself that my body will birth the baby it makes (even though I know SOMETIMES this isn’t true). I’ve been reminding myself that I got ELLA OUT even if she was huge and I needed help. Mostly what makes her birth scary (and for some reason scarier now than it was then even) was the time it took to get her out (5+ minutes). In reality it took the time it took because I didn’t flip hands and knees right away and I didn’t flip hands and knees right away because 1. we were waiting for a contraction (which wasn’t coming) then 2. I pushed. 3. I pushed some more and 4. There was a possibility of popping her head out of water when I flipped so we didn’t want to flip right away (I kept her under for what it’s worth). But IF I had another dystocia the fact is I’d move right away and we’d employ the appropriates maneuvers right away which would give us a fair amount of time to get her out before we even had to worry. The other fact is that the chances of me having anther dystocia are somewhere in the 10-13 or 15% range depending on what study you read and I question… do these studies take into account the number of babies I’ve delivered before? The fact that I had a 9 pound baby literally without almost no effort and an 8 pound baby that virtually SLID OUT ON HIS OWN? I’ve NEVER, not with any of my kids pushed more than 15 minutes (not even the first one). DO these studies account for the fact that my dystocia might have been more about pushing position than size? Or that I hadn’t had a baby in almost 11 years? I feel like when you combine all those factors you can reasonably conclude that I could probably birth a 12 pound baby. And what are my options? I’m NOT having an elective c-section. And the hospital has no more devices at it’s disposal to get a stuck baby out than I do right here. (In fact given possibility of restricted movement maybe LESS.)

The other thing I feel like is that the less emotionally and physically present I am in my body the less capable we are at working together. So I’m working on that. I’m spending some time reflecting and doing simple yoga to get me more grounded and in tune.  I spent most of Ella’s labor being social and visiting. Joking and chatting and worrying about my other kids being ok and understanding what was going on. I was worried about people eating and drinking and the fact that I needed to change the sheets on my bed. I was fretting over what I was going to feed everyone for dinner because I’d been in labor longer than I anticipated. All in all I wasn’t really worrying about myself. I feel like while that didn’t hurt my labor at all, I would have been more in tune with what was going on in there if I had kind of drown out the background noise. I’ll be talking about this with our birth party and letting them know what they can probably expect from me.

Tandem nursing update (still talking about boobs. you may skip):

Well I’m not gonna sugar coat it. It’s a little rough right now but mostly just at night. I feel like my supply has dropped a bit (there’s PLENTY of milk because I had TONS before but I can tell it frustrates Ella). Ella wants to nurse (or stay latched) for several hours at night which used to be fine because I could sleep through it but I’m SORE so it wakes me up. Then I can’t sleep and I’m frustrated trying to get her to let go and sleep. Which frustrates her. And wakes up dad. One night this week he actually just got up with her AT 3 AM. SO yeah. That wasn’t good. So I’m working on getting her to sleep next to me but not attached TO ME. It’s a challenge.

And here’s the belly photo:



baby baking , first trimester , pregnancy