This is a long OVERDUE post that isn’t pregnancy related.

Don’t faint.

I have neglected the blog because, well, it’s not my priority. I don’t monetize my blog. I’ve never gotten anything free or made any money blogging. My blog is not my job. It is something I do for ME. My kids and my house are my my job and they are FULL TIME.

 

I find myself seeking balance. Looking for pause and reflection. This seems to be happening more and more and I suspect it has to do with growing new life. I’m past the mid point of pregnancy (I guess unless Max decides to cook to 43 weeks. Unlikely.) I can’t forget I’m pregnant for the huge belly but if it weren’t for that and the kicks I’d probably have to be reminded. Life with four kids is so incredibly busy. Like super super busy.

Busy.

 

Ella has been teething and sick and sick and teething. And not sleeping. But also: Walking. Running. Talking. Demanding my CONSTANT attention.

I find myself asking my 13 year old multiple times a day either 1. Who he is texting or 2. Who he is on the phone with. This is both maddening and exhausting. And a little bit exciting seeing him come into his own. Also he has straight A’s so there’s that.

Raising a 16 year old daughter challenges me unlike I’d ever expected. I thought she was a hard baby. Yeah. I’d rather do that again. I mean the head shaking. The sighing. The plugging of ears. God I love that kid. I do. No REALLY I DO. She’s trying to grow up. And sometimes trying to make me a little crazy.

My 11 year old is thankfully the one kid who doesn’t want to talk back, bicker, snot mouth, ignore etc. He does his chores quietly and with little nudging. Now if only I could get him to stop leaving underwear on the floor. Next year he’ll be in junior high. And that makes me a little weak in the knees.

In any case you can see how this would get a little, eh hectic, on a day to day type basis. If I blog I can’t sew and if I sew I can’t blog and if I crochet or knit I can’t blog or sew and if I clean and cook and bake I can’t crochet or blog or knit OR sew. And if I manage to get all the laundry done I probably can’t do any of those things.  Oh and there’s all my twitter friends, which are almost my only friends. And I’m finding that those lines are being crossed too where my twitter friends are becoming my REAL friends or vice versa so I don’t ever want to ignore these relationships either. And somewhere in there I have to mother these people and be a wife-y type person too and  do it while my husband is gone half the week. So you know.

Busy.

I’ve found, for my own PERSONAL brand of sanity, that I *really* need to do a little of all of those things. I NEED a clean house but I also NEED to sew and I NEED to knit ANd crochet AND cook and I am happiest when I am successful at all of that PLUS being a decent mother and wife. Or trying anyway.
And then there are days (weeks, MONTHS even) where people are sick or teething or just needy and I go days without ever spending time on MY sanity. And I start to feel a little, well, insane. And I usually cry. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I clean. And most of the time I need Matt to say HEY YOU NEED TO SLEEP (or do something for yourself).

SO I try to eat healthy.

I take time to do some creative things that nourish me… like sewing:

Making curtains I’ve wanted for a year and a half (also a clean space and clean sheets helps).

Or crocheting with some NICE yarn (because I’m WORTH nice yarn).

Or make something for someone (in this case a hat for Max).

It’s easy to become very preoccupied with SURVIVING as a mother of one or two or four or five. And I have to remind myself that MY cup needs filling. I need fulfillment and sometimes I need nurturing too. Trying to do it all and be everything to everyone is a bad idea sometimes. Sometimes admitting the things you aren’t capable of makes you, in fact, capable. These are the lessons of womanhood and of motherhood. And I’m learning them. Daily.

 

(nearly) wordless wednesday , crochet , knit , knitting , mothering , sewing , teenagers , thankful

OK so I can’t wait until tomorrow. I just can’t. If you read earlier today you read that I intended to make myself a sewing corner. And by corner I mean CORNER. The space I’m talking about it literally 40 inches square. 40 inches.  Despite having a fair sized house we seem to never have enough room which is why the Man works from the couch or kitchen table when he works from home and why I have, until today, had no place to put a sewing machine.

 

Until today.

Today I set out to create a space for myself. I’ve been dreaming about it since we finished the living room and put the Man’s turntable up and got some great shelving (where I have things like yarn and books).

I started with this:

It may look like I staged that but I swear to you as I live and breathe that is EXACTLY what it looked like. Because for some reason this is the corner the family forgot existed. The corner where there was once a birdcage and there was, as of this morning anyway, a 6 pack of snapple, a puzzle and a painting that one of the kids did.

I brought to the space things from around the house. The table that was next to our bed (and wasn’t meant to be a nightstand but was at one point, in 1940, a nice makeup table). I brought a chair from the kitchen. I made a bulletin board (tutorial tomorrow) from a new frame and some old grody corkboard that the Man had saved in the garage. (He’s great at keeping things forever. I really love it even though I harass him about it.) I added a bunch of blue Ball jars left over from our wedding and a few McCoy vases and flower pots I already had (I have an embarrassing number of these). And a jar of buttons. Oh and an old painting I had. And here’s what happened:

A beautiful functional corner.

I BOUGHT: 1 white 16 x 20 frame and 1/2 yard of fabric.

That’s it.

So this cost me about $25 (It was an expensive-ish frame even 40% off but I had to have white. Had to.). Because I had to go to Michaels and I HAD to buy other sewing implements (seam ripper etc) which brought the total to just under $60 of stuff I probably wouldn’t have bought today. Also I ended up at Old Navy and bought myself clothes. This has no bearing on the corner redo other than to say I was feeling sassy and wanted some nice (fitting) things to wear. New clothes make a lady feel pretty. Even if they are in a size she doesn’t like.

And a space to call her own, even if it is 40 inches in the corner of the dining room, makes any woman feel downright fantastic.

I highly recommend it.

crafts , MEEEEEE , sewing

It’s 7:30 am as I write this (though I know realistically I won’t get this published until this afternoon sometime. A girl can dream though.) We’ve been up since the ripe hour of 5:30 am. Ella is rolling around on the floor because APPARENTLY she thinks she’s supposed to MOVE.

Honestly. The nerve.

And I’m stopping to put the baby down for a nap. Already. It’s been a long morning. (See why it’ll take me until the afternoon to get this up.)

You might have noticed I took the weekend off.

There were a lot of reasons for this but the most prevalent one was that I needed a break. And my family needed a break.

What we needed a break from was the constant connectedness of the internet. And I LURRRVE the Internets. I love twitter. Facebook. My blog. All the OTHER blogs I read. The news. Shopping. Ravelry. Shoot sometimes I just like to LOOK at the internet. Just because it’s the INTERNET and it’s so full of stuff. And things. But I needed a break. I needed to feel creative and not tied to something plugged in (except my sewing machine). I needed to stare at my husband and *ahem* other things with my husband. Cause, whaddya know, I actually LIKE the guy.

Hm. Madness.

Also I feel a lot of silly internal pressure to turn out a noteworthy or thought provoking or witty post, and frankly, I just don’t have in in me right now.

I feel sometimes when I get wrapped up in the Internet (it’s like a proper noun around here) I can do just that, get WRAPPED up in it. The Man already works on a computer for a living. And I blog (thought obviously NOT for any kind of living). And that means that there is usually pretty much constantly a macbook plugged in and on and open at ALL TIMES in this house. And while I love the Internet and the blog I think it’s important to have balance, so this weekend I balanced my life. I spent time with the Man and the Baby and some time with the Big Kids (though they were with their dad). And I sewed. Oh the gloriousness of it all. It was one of my favorite weekends in a long time and I barely got out of my pj pants.

I made this:

And this:

And this:

(it’s a headband. I realize you can’t tell that)

Many of you know that years ago I went back to school. I went back to school so I could ultimately go back to work because quite frankly, my family needed the income. I believe though, firmly, that I was BUILT to stay at home (which is NOT to say I don’t get tired, crabby, frustrated and downright maniacal sometimes.). I love to bake and sew and craft. I love to take care of people (sometimes to my own detriment). I love watching my kids grow. I love it all. I love a clean house and a cooked meal and a happy husband. And my idea of a great feminist movement would be one where women got to do WHAT THEY WANTED even if that meant being a mom and wife their entire life an nothing else (clearly I was born in the wrong decade). It’s not for everyone, but it is for me. Anyway at some point that really wasn’t realistic anymore. Cause kids cost like Money. A lot of it. So I went back out into the grown up (mostly) non-diapered world.  And while I absolutely loathed enjoyed school  and I love being a nurse, somewhere along the way I packed away the creative pieces of myself so that I could give to those around me whatever little bit I had left at the end of the day. (Moms {and dads}, can I get an amen?) When we bought this house last year I was absolutely INSISTENT that there be space in the space for the Man’s drums/guitars/mics/turntable/other musical stuff I don’t understand:

I did this for a couple of reasons.

1. His musical gifts are one of the things I find hawt really intriguing about him.

2. When he played his first record after the turntable was set up in The Man Space he actually looked like he was about to cry. That is how much he loves this stuff. And I love him enough to make sure he has access to it at all times. Despite my raging desire to turn the room into a flowery shabby chic-y showcase of antiques. He deserves to have his space.

3. I think the everyone needs an outlet. Whatever yours is, if it requires a space, you should have one. Even if it’s a corner.

 

Which brings me to my next point. Today I will once again not be posting anything noteworthy or thought provoking because what I will be doing is working on my own space. I will create a corner for myself where there is now nothing but some diet snapple, a three-fourths built replica of Neuschawnstein and a painting of a frog.

It’s a sad space.

But tomorrow it will be mine.

 

Stay tuned.

(And note: It’s only 8:30)

 

 

blogging , crafts , sew something sunday , sewing

This just in.

Brace yourselves for a big announcement. Forthcoming.

It’s coming.

Wait for it.

No, really.

I’m quitting my Job. The nursey one.

No, really. I am. I haven’t yet, but I’m going to. I only haven’t because I have to drive to Visalia to do it and I don’t have the spare hour and a half today. Really.

So that’s today’s headline. Not big news for you but the biggest of news for us over here. I could write a nice long post about quitting my Job but I’m not ready for that yet. Maybe later. I’m still feeling a little bit fairytaleoverjoyeddazedandconfuzzled about this decision. Oh, don’t get me wrong, there’s not a single thing I’d rather do than stay at home and raise this Sweet Pea of a Baby. It’s just that even though I’ve been At Home before, it’s been a while. I’m a little nervous about it and all the things that go with not being an Out of Home worker. You know what I’m talking about. Maybe not. Anyway. Next item of business.

Because I am about to quit my Job (just the one where I’m a nurse, not the one where I’m nursing) I’m feeling very suddenly domestically motivated. There is a slight problem with this. Well a couple:

a. My sewing machine is broken. It’s tragic. Truly.

b. Also despite the fact that we have a fair sized house, I have no place for “crafty” things. They are in a box in storage (mostly).

c. In light of all of this and in despite of it I am still plotting and planning several crafty ventures. Probably too many. It’s a disease I have.

And they are:

1. I’m knitting a scarf for my sisters trip to Philly. My sister is Fan-tas-tic. Truly. She deserves a scarf of epic proportions. This may not be big news to everyone but it is to me because I am literally the worst. Knitter. Ever.

No, really. I’m bad.

This is a similar pattern. Only mine is two-color striped. My sister does not like pink. Or anything in the pink family. So I’m using blue and green. I like it. If it doesn’t come out crooked maybe I’ll whip up another one.

Here it is in progress:
See how I accidentally made one row that has 3 greens in it. I’m not afraid to admit my error. I lost count. I was nursing the baby. I told you. I’m that bad.

2. I’m crocheting snowflakes for our Christmas tree. Granny used to make these. I’m doing it. Like right now. They’re fun, if you know how to crochet. If not, they’re miserably difficult. Also, working on other handmade ornaments. Because, well frankly we have none.

In other news: I miss Granny. Like a ton.

3. I’m crocheting hats for the children. I prefer knitted hats (ala my mother in law who is a fantastic knitter) but alas, as previously mentioned, I am the worst. Knitter. Ever. Anyway, per their requests hats are underway. Maybe if the scarf isn’t an abysmal failure I’ll knit them. They should be done by 2012.

4. I’m cooking.

Cauliflower soup.
Don’t tell the Hubs. It’s what’s for dinner tonight. Surprise.

I just met the Pioneer Woman less than a month ago. She’s my hero.

Also: Coffee Cake. I feel like I need to make that right. Now.

Did I mention she’s my hero. I can’t believe I never heard of her before like 3 weeks ago. Where was she all my life?

5. Attempting to make something of our front room.

This isn’t really something I’m doing as much as something I need to do.

It’s a little bit confused. It’s not sure if it’s a living room or a music room or a room where people drop their crap. There are drums in there. And guitars. And a huge bean bag. And crap.

That’s all.

Here’s the drums though. They’re really lovely.


Hubs is a drummer. How lucky am I? Drummers are sexy. That is all. Thank you for listening.

(That photo was taken by Myron Yeung. Our wedding photographer. He’s amazing.)

6. Working on my etsy store. It’s not done yet. Who am I kidding. It’s not even started. I’m totally doing it though. I’m not selling anything knitted though. Unless someone is looking for a crooked scarf.

Whilst my mind is preoccupied with the aforementioned items of interest I’m also entertaining the following hobbies:

~gazing at the miracle of Sweetness we’ve been given. (That’s the Baby. In case you didn’t know.)

This is her:
I know, right. She’s ridiculous.

~ Running after the Big Kids. This takes significantly more time than one would think.

This is them:
I mean look at these kids. If babymaking was a business, I’d go into it. They’re that awesome. (In all fairness, I can’t take credit for the one holding the Baby. She’s my sister. But I’m claiming her anyway. She looks enough like the rest. No one will know.)

~Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Shopping. Keeping house in general. Kind of.

~Doing my derndest to support the Hubs in his career and Other Financial Ventures. (This bascially means, trying to keep the kids from talking to him every 10 seconds when he’s trying to write code, which is a whole other thing I don’t understand.)

That’s what I’m up to. Stayed tuned for more news as it develops.

Warmest Regards,

Me

SAHM turned RN turned SAHMRN. Recovering craft addict. Abysmal knitter. Lover of cake.

baking , crafting , crochet , knit , mothering , sewing