This week brought to you by… the sofa.

Stats: Weeks pregnant: 31 and days.

Weight: 204

Gain: +20

Waist :  48 at the bellybutton ish

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44 and 46 (+1).

Average number of times I get up to pee per night: sad face.

Size of the baby bean: 16.5 ish inches

Weight: 3.5 to 5 lb

Position: currently vertex (head down) with feet consistently kicking the crap out of my right side. (LOA for you birthy types)

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: Crying. Lots of crying. And preparing. For birth and for having two little people and 3 big people. Making me a mother of FIVE. Five children.

Physical crap: Typical pregnancy stuff. I’m getting short of breath. It’s hard to move and sleep. I have to pee 6,243 times a day. And the pelvis thing. It’s been rough. Even though the pelvic stuff is improved over the last update it’s still really hard to move and I definitely cannot do my normal activity. I’ve been seeing the chiropractor weekly and resting as much as possible. We hired a housekeeper that is coming every two weeks which, despite my initial reservations, is AWESOME. I’ve been knitting and doing little things (small nesting you might. Cleaning our one drawer or closet. etc). NOW the silver lining… there are a lot of positives to be found here. This pain has forced my slow down. Since I am not a ‘take it easy’ person being forced to take it easy has been a blessing to some degree. I am able to enjoy Max’s movements and enjoy Ella’s development. I’m more available for my big kids. And even though I’ve had to depend on Matt much much more he has risen to the challenge of taking care of all he can and oddly being forced to be a little dependent on him has actually been a really good thing. Also, it’s nice to have time to be creative and sew, knit and decorate. I’ve made lots of things for Max and other friends babies and I’m working on things for Ella and the house too.

Here are a few:

Kids hands. Excited to add Max’s to this :)

Bunting to go with the hands.

Stripey hat.

Hat and tiny socks.

Max’s blanket #1.

See. Productive. SO not JUST sitting. Also HELLO I learned to knit SOCKS. OMG SOCKS.

Also despite all the usual discomforts of being largely pregnant and the pelvis thing I don’t feel TERRIBLE. I actually think I feel better than I did with Ella at this point. The forced rest I’m sure is helping. At 29 weeks with Ella I was taken off  work and I was READY to be off work. It was hot. I was huge and miserable.

What I want to devour: Ice. and all food. What makes me want to hurl: Orange juice. OMG. I want to drink it SO BAD. and it makes me SO SICK.

Supplements:  Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2). And my friend, the Prevacid. Also drinking Yogi Mother’s Tea now. Will start the birth prep in a couple of weeks. More on that later.

Activity: Let’s not talk about it. Unless getting up and down counts as activity. Walking up and down stairs is like HARD.

Boy? Or girl?: BOY. Still Name:  Maxwell  MAX!!

In other news: If Ella doesn’t kill herself falling off of something, she may kill me. Seriously. The kid has no fear. We have added TWO more gates to confine her to the family room so she can’t climb the dining table because I simply cannot get to her quick enough to protect her. I do NOT love gates but I hate stitches more. And blood. And broken things. Like bones.

BABY PREP: nothing new. All the clothes are washed, folded and put away. He has enough. Not too many ‘outfits’ but plenty of sleepers, gowns and a few kimonos and onesies. I’m working on a second blanket and will be ordering the birth kit this week. Whoa. Will be buying my friend Jenny’s bouncy chair.Even though I mostly always wear my babies it’s really nice to have a safe place to put them for things like hot oven cooking and showering. I’d love to have a Moses basket but at the price they are I think I’ll skip it.

Tandem nursing update (BOOBS): No real changes there. Still colostrum. Still nursing. I’m really hopeful now that we will be able to tandem. With just a couple of months left in the pregnancy it doesn’t seem like Ella plans to give up. This is exciting for me NO daunting. I’m actually hoping her nursing will help us with the transition to having a new baby in the house.   I get sore. And positioning is a challenge but we are working with what we have and it works fine.


And here’s the  belly photo(s): Week 29: Week 30: week 31:


Despite the fact that I LOOK huge I don’t really FEEL like he’s huge. Weird.

baby baking , pregnancy , pregnant , tandem nursing , third trimester

This week brought to you by hours and hours and HOURS in the kitchen. HOURS.


Weeks pregnant: 23 weeks and some days

Weight: 193 lbs. (this is 3 pounds in two weeks. Pie? Well there has been some but overall I’m exercising and eating well so I’m trying to not FREAK OUT. but as the scale edges closer to 200 I’m getting a little panicky to be honest. I’m NOT excited about it. But also I’m healthy, my blood sugar is good, I FEEL GOOD. These things are more important in the long run)

Gain: +10 lbs total overall with 16ish weeks to go.

Waist :  45 at the bellybutton

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44? and 45?. Still

Average number of times I get up to pee per night: too many

Size of the baby bean: 11.5 ish inches. (being measured Head to foot now instead of to rump)

Weight: a pound and a half ish? Probably. Maybe 2 by now. Yeah, probably two.

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: Peace. Peacefulness is happening.

Physical crap: Uterine irritability. Typical aches and pains. I feel physically pretty well lately. Except the reflux. yuck. Oh and the price I’m paying for riding my bike way too much last week.

What I want to devour: Does everything count?

What makes me want to hurl: Not much.

Supplements:  Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2). Papaya enzyme for the reflux/heartburn. It is actually quite helpful. And my friend, the Prevacid. Also drinking Yogi Mother’s Tea now.

Activity:Biking. Lots of biking. Maybe too much biking. Like um 20 miles over four days.

Boy? Or girl?: BOY.

Name:  Maxwell  MAX!!

In other news: Ella and I, and, well pretty much everyone, were sick. Ella got a little break from cutting molars and slept ok for like 2 days. That’s over now. We are back to waking up several times a night and waking for the day ay 4 am. SO that’s awesome. I HOPE that it’s temporary. I’m a little scared.

I am TOTALLY aware that this baby will be here in like 16 weeks. THAT IS NOT VERY LONG. O.o

BABY PREP: Knitted two hats. Still need wool covers. Still need blankets. Still need clothes. Have gowns though so YAY.

Tandem nursing update (BOOBS BOOBS and more boobs. you may skip):

No milk. No colostrum. Ella is still nursing though. She’s even nursing once in the middle of the night right now (sometimes that’s the only thing that helps The Crabby). I’m struggling with being a sore off an on but we are persevering. I’m looking forward to having milk again. I do miss those nursing for food moments.

And here’s the  belly photo(s):

Week 22


week 23

baby baking , pregnancy , pregnant , second trimester

These week(s) brought to you by ultrasounds and rescue remedy. I apologize for my lack of updating. The cold hard truth is when I’m exhausted the blog is the first thing to go. Meh.


Weeks pregnant: 21 weeks

Weight: 190 lbs.

Gain: +7 lbs total overall

Waist :  44.5 at the bellybutton (this measurement is not changing but WHOA my belly is)

And bust/hips (just for grins and giggles): 44″ and 45″.

Average number of times I get up to pee per night: how ever many times Ella is up. Which lately is a whole bunch.

Size of the baby bean: 10.5 ish inches. (being measured Head to foot now instead of to rump)

Weight: over a pound according to the ultrasound tech (also noteworthy baby measures more than a week ahead in size. We didn’t have a reliable conception date but we aren’t changing the due date either way. March. Sometime)

Other pregnancy related crap:

Emotional crap: I’m not crying every day. We’ll take that as a victory. The reality of this baby coming is starting to set in. It’s weird being so busy and tired I haven’t taken much time to reflect on the fact that another HUMAN will be here in just a few months. Crazy.

Physical crap: Round ligament pain. And continued contractions off and on without exertion.

What I want to devour: Banana bread. Still. And chocolate croissants. I wanted one for two weeks. FInally got one Friday. I wanted to cry a little.

What makes me want to hurl: not much thankfully. Except that because of reflux I have a hard time eating leftovers since I usually spend the day before tasting them in regurg. (Gross)

Supplements:  Prenatal (from trader joes). Calcium-Magnesium (with D) pills (2). Papaya enzyme for the reflux/heartburn. It is actually quite helpful. And my friend, the Prevacid. Also drinking Yogi Mother’s Tea now.

Activity: Biking. Walking. Yoga. It’s getting hard to do much of anything but I’m not giving up. The 7 mile ride last weekend was a little too much. The 5.5 mile ride yesterday was about my limit I’d say. Also I have a prenatal belly dancing DVD I’m anxious to try.

Boy? Or girl?: BOY. Yep. It’s a boy and not to brag (yeah I’m totally about to brag) that makes me six for SIX. Dead on intuition. Weird. Also I’ll spare you the photo but there is NO chance this is a girl.

Name:  Maxwell {Matt will have to announce the middle name since he picked it). MAX!! Maximilian. Maximus. Max the Man. It’s a Max :)

In other news: We finally met with our homebirth midwife after a month or more of hit and miss. Things check out just fine and we will be seeing her monthly ish now. We will be spending lots of time discussing diet and Ella’s dystocia and what our game plan will be for prevention (careful gain, different pushing position etc). SO far my weight gain is right on target to gain a total of about 15-20 pounds for the pregnancy.

Also Ella is back to sleeping SUPER CRAPPY which has nothing to do with the pregnancy per se but is driving me insane. Just so you  know. I’d do just about anything at this point to have her sleep 6 hours straight and/or not be up 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. It’s boggling. And maddening. And exhausting.

Lots and LOTS of movement now. If I sit still and don’t feel something almost immediately I get worried. That’s how much movement. Normal for me now. Phew.

BABY PREP: Bought some boy things. Working on a hat. Need more wool covers and blankets. And will probably register somewhere even though I wont’ have any kind of baby shower. It feels weird but we do NEED some things for this kid that we don’t have so. That.

Tandem nursing update (BOOBS BOOBS and more boobs. you may skip):

No colostrum yet but this isn’t deterring Ella. She has been nursing before nap and bed (unless dad puts her down, which he does a lot when he’s home). If she wakes up prematurely in the morning (which is like EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.) or from nap I’ll nurse her to just be able to rest longer. She basically won’t ever turn it down if I offer but since she is so busy I don’t usually offer unless she seems like she needs it. It’s getting harder to find a position that works because my belly is getting in the way. SO that’s a fun development too.

And here’s the  belly photo(s):

ultrasound day: 19 weeks 5 days.

20.5  ish weeks

21 weeks.


Baby MAX!

baby baking , pregnancy , pregnant , second trimester

Well it’s 7 am on Wednesday morning as I write this (though I’m sure I won’t get it published until after I get the kids to their respective institutes of learning). Don’t let the time fool you, I’ve been up since 5, but it wasn’t because of Ella. I’m ready to tell you last nights story but honestly I’m at least a little scared to say anything at this point.

I would have blogged at 5 am because I was UP after all but then the neighbors cat peed on our five foot wide  Chillsac (don’t ask me why the neighbors cat is even IN our house because that is a long and annoying story). Matt was nice enough to take the time to remove the cover (because like I said FIVE FEET of foam and my flexibility is not what is was before I had a bowling ball under my shirt) so I could wash it before he left for the Bay, but alas, SURPRISE. When he opened it it seems the chillsac itself had become unzipped and the cover was filled with five million teeeeeny tiny foam pieces. Therefore the living room was filled with teeny tiny foam pieces and cat piss smelling teeny tiny foam pieces at that. So after vacuuming SIX times (that is six empties of the canister in the RAIN) and washing the piss cover and throwing the cat out into said rain and moving the monster rowing machine TWICE AND trying to keep Ella from eating a bucket of piss foam and listening to the screeching cat at the front door the WHOLE time, I’m NOW ready to tell you about last night.

Here’s how it went.

DAY THREE (Tuesday): Despite her very poor sleep the night before, Ella only took her two regular length naps yesterday. One at 8- 9:50. And one from 1:15-3. I was able to sleep about an hour and a half during the day as well which was welcome. Come last night she wasn’t really ACTING tired at 8 pm so Matt went ahead and read her 163 MORE books then I gave her a nice dose of ibuprofen plus chamomilia and teething tablets which also have chamomile in them (it’s ok you don’t need to tell me how I od’ed my baby on chamomile) and took her upstairs at 8:15. From nursing to dozing to patting to sleeping was EIGHT minutes. TOTAL. I came downstairs to snuggle and knit Ella’s new stripey soaker and chat on twitter while we watched an episode of Survivorman. At 9:22 she woke up crying and I was filled with dread. Turns out she was just sweaty. I uncovered her, patted her and BAM 2 minutes. Out. Cold. Around 10:15 we decided that we’d hit the sack so I could sleep in the event of another presumed all-nighter. We chatted for a while and giggled like we do. I was feeling pretty anxious about the possibility of being awake all night again. Finally a little after 11 we went to sleep. I woke up at 11:33. Ella was still asleep. At 12:02. Still asleep. 12:27. STILL ASLEEP. 1:09 STILLLLL ASLEEP. 1:27 STILLLLLLLLL ASLEEP. At this point I was getting pretty irritable with MYSELF. Here I had a great chance to be SOUNDLY sleeping and instead I was obsessing if she was breathing, if she was ok, when was she going to wake, if she was going to cry ALL NIGHT LONG,  the fact the the poor people on that tiny island Tuvalu off of New Zealand don’t have fresh water at all this year, the new hole in the ozone over the NORTH pole and whether or not my car is going to get keyed because I have an OBAMA 2012 sticker on it. Finally at 1:58 she let out a cry. I popped up and went in. I gave her her water first without picking her up. She chugged that for about a minute then reached up to me to be picked up. I tried to lay her down to pat her but she’d have no part of any such business. So I scooped her up and sat in the rocker and nursed. I won’t lie. I was plotting my night of sitting up at that point. But she only nursed FOR ONE MINUTE. Then she was dozing. I laid her down half awake. Pat. Pat. OUT. It was 2:01 THREE MINUTES. I went back to bed. After obsessing some more about those poor people on Tuvalu I finally fell asleep. Only to awakened by her crying at 3:17. I got up and lumbered into her room and found her FAST ASLEEP on her back. WHAT THE HEL IS GOING ON HERE PEOPLE?!?!?! So I went BACK to bed and laid there. Listening to the rain. Listening to Matt breathe. Listening to the cats. Thinking about Tuvalu (those poor people on Tuvalu don’t even know I’m laying awake about their water situation so how helpful am I?). Wondering how many minutes I’d get before she’d cry again. Two? Ten? Thirty?

TWO HOURS AND FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES folks. She slept straight through until 5:55 when she woke for the day which was just perfectly FINE with me. So even though I had a horrid night of broken sleep and woke up at 5 to worry about Tuvalu again I STILL slept more than I have in a year or more. And I pretty much feel like I could conquer the universe right now. On like 5.5 hours of SUPER BROKEN SLEEP. If I got 7 hours I might ACTUALLY conquer the universe.

Ella is cheerful. Obviously rested. Playing wonderfully after eating a nice breakfast. And FINE.  She hasn’t nursied this morning and I haven’t offered because I’ve been getting everyone ready for school and cleaning up teeny tiny piss foam. Overall I feel really sad that I lost my milk supply but I am able to see a silver lining here. I needed a kick to night wean her. I am pregnant and I haven’t slept more than 5 VERY broken hours in months. I’ve been exhausted and sick and sacrificing my own health because I didn’t want HER to suffer.  If I hadn’t lost my milk when I did I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that we’d be co-sleeping and ALL NIGHT NURSING until the very end of pregnancy when I’d have to get her to to sleep so that I could before the new baby arrived. I know my milk will come back in four or five months and I hope that Ella will still want to nurse then. I’m trying not to fret that right now but it’s a constant in my mind. She is nursing less and less during the day because she’s walking and she’s BUSY and wants to read and play and have fun. She’s developing as she should. It breaks my heart to think of weaning her at this young age (she’d be the youngest of ANY of my babies to wean). I’m not religious but I AM spiritual and I do believe that things happen when they are meant to and for a reason. That seems hard to swallow when you think of all the AWFUL things that happen in the world but even in my own life the awful things have always led me to a place of greater understanding.

As is life. And this.

attached parenting , attachment parenting , mothering , night weaning , pregnant

In lieu of a ‘regular’ blogpost, because my thoughts are scattered like the Neptune Society, today I give you my list of randomness, inspired in part by Erin (who gave us her own variety of random last week), and brought to you by two loaves of zucchini bread, two batches of zucchini brownies, one sad cup of decaf coffee and my lack of sleep.


So here goes:

1. In case you don’t follow me on twitter, or facebook, or know me in real life, let me just tell you I’m TIRED. Like dead corpse tired. Want to go back to bed before I get out of bed tired. Yeah, that kind of tired. TIRED. Just really epically tired.

2. Ella is teething. Bless her peapickin heart, she’s about the cutest thing there ever was, even if she does have horns on her head, razors for teeth and flames shooting from her nostrils. And is screaming. And trying to bite my nipples off. Teething is an asshole. Teething, You’re a PRICK.

3. Speaking of nipples (move on to #4 if you don’t want to hear about nipples), my boobs. Oh yes. Boobs. Mine. A. They are no longer fitting in my bra. Which is awesome because they weren’t NEARLY MOUNT EVEREST ENOUGH BEFORE. and B. Yeah, they hurt AND there is a baby attached to them like about 12 hours a day. Moms, remember that flaming, burning, aching DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT MY BREASTS UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO RIP YOUR EYES OUT feeling you get when you’re newly pregnant? Yeah. That. And I’m still nursing. And as a result of aforementioned teething, I’m nursing, oh just about 77 times a day. (it’s actually surprisingly not that bad. No, really. All that other stuff was for effect.)

4. Did I mention I was tired?

5. My husband has an extra long week away this week so that’s awesome because I don’t really like him AT ALL. And he’s never helpful at all. And I don’t like sleep or somebody to snuggle with. So yeah. AWESOME. (not)

6. My 13 year old SON is surprisingly helpful and really quite good with the baby. I mean like REALLY REALLY good. Like I’d pay him. He’s good. I didn’t give him enough credit. I feel bad about this. But grateful (because of numbers 1 and 4).

7. Because of #1 and #4, (I’m TIRED, in case you hadn’t heard) I have recently become quite the slave driving chore requiring mother. I’ve always had the children do certain things and at times we have had very organized chore charts with reward systems even (not now though because I’m too lazy to do that every week, I mean get real, people) but recently I’ve let go of the guilt of feeling like because I’m back home again (after working outside the home for several years) I should be doing ALL the household duties. No. SO it goes like this. I wake up at the Ass Crack of dawn and I go for my 2.5 – 3 mile-ish walk while the children (the big ones anyway) slumber peacefully in their beds. Then I come home and leisurely prepare Ella and I breakfast. Then I grab the TRUMPET and sound the GET THE EFF OUT OF BED alarm and they get up all smiles and joy and happiness. Or something like that. Little do they know, dun dun dun, while they slumbered peacefully I prepared a chore chart of EPIC PROPORTIONS with things like pick up dog poop (ALL OF IT) and clean your rooms (No. REALLY), and unload the dishwasher (YEAH, the silverware too), and fold the laundry (NO, not JUST YOURS, all of it), and vacuum (yeah, with the vacuum ON and yeah if you don’t do it right I’ll make you do it again. Don’t TEST ME.) Stuff like that. So far… working. Thank you little baby Jesus with the little baby Jesus halo in the tiny little manger. I need the help.

8. People say things like this to me all the time, “OH WELL at least you’re other kids are OLDER so they can help you. That must be nice. How lucky you are.” And I am. I’m lucky I have four awesome healthy children. But here’s the truth (mom’s of TEENS SPEAK UP), NOT REALLY. Teenagers are not like toddlers. Oh they are in this regard, they are MESSY and BOSSY and backtalk-y, they respond to the same positive reinforcement and spend the same amount of time ignoring you, but other than that no. They’re rooms are almost always a disaster (oh wait that’s like toddlers too). They can make their own food. AND leave the kitchen a huge mess. They have places to BE. Like all the time. It sounds like this, “MOM LEAVE ME ALONE. Uh but first, can you take me to the mall?” SO yeah, no. I’m not saying having 3 kids under 4 was EASY (it was, in reality a nightmare oft times) I’m just saying have 3 kids over 11 isn’t EASY either. Having fours kids is just not easy. Nope.  I’ll give you this, I can hand one of them Ella so I can shower but the fact is I’m only showering so I can take one of them to the store to get tampons/ deodorant/ swim trunks/ a birthday gift for a friend/ a poster board/ a binder or to school or to a friends house or or or. You get my point. Awesome, yes. Easy, no.

9. I am thankfully not nauseous (YET). There will be more on this in the weekly pregnancy update later in the week.  I am going to try to NOT make about me being pregnant because I know that’s going to bore the holy hell out of about 25% of my readers (though feel free to tell me if I’m wrong) but it’s hard because, yeah, pregnant. So so pregnant.

10. I am wearing maternity pants. Not because Im’ showing (I’m just chubby) but because I hate pants. So there you go.


Until next time… love and kisses and cakes

mothering , pregnancy , pregnant