I wish I could tell you, but I don’t even know.
One morning I was changing diapers and pulling weeds. The next morning I was on The Today Show. Literally the next morning. A fews after that I was on The Rachael Ray show. I wrote an article about being happy, and fat. I told the story of how being thin didn’t solve my problems. I told the story of an obsession to meet an ideal that was impossible to attain and sustain. It seems like it resonated with a few people.
It all started at ravishly and from there went to the Huff post front page, then the Yahoo front page.
An excerpt from my recent article on Ravishly.com:
“I’m going to just stop here and tell you the next week and a half look pretty much exactly like those first few days. Only, add in a bunch of print stuff, and substitute any one of 4 other shows in place of TheToday Show, and Inside Edition. Weekend Sunrise Australia (filmed via satellite in San Francisco). Canada AM. The Rachael Ray Show (which airs this Thursday). AOL.com. Redbook magazine. Parenting.com. Something called farrahgray.com. Buzzfeed. Brigitte magazine in Germany. This fox affiliate. This ABC affiliate. This paper in Georgia. This paper in Iceland (oh how I wish I spoke Icelandic). This and this and this and this blog (actually not sure what that last one is). A multi page feature in a magazine as yet to be disclosed. Two phone interviews with Sirius. This radio station in Toledo (don’t tell them I don’t like country music). And apparently a mention on The Talk. And a bunch of other google results that I won’t bore you with because if you clicked on even a quarter of the previous mentions you are so so sick of my face.”
My mind is blown. Matt insists he isn’t surprised at all. He’s probably not lying.
The future holds good things for me, and for those who can relate. I will tell my story as long as people need to hear it. I thank you readers and friends for your love and support always.
“Happiness comes from within. Do not see it without.” The Buddha
oh and here I am with Rachael Ray. No big deal. (LOVED HER. ALL CAPS LOVED HER)
No, I didn’t get taken away with Jesus in the rapture. Sorry to disappoint. From what I can tell no one else did either though so I’m still in good company here on earth.
So… what’s going on?
Welllll. A lot and nothing. At the same time. You know. Stuff. And things. The sad fact is I haven’t blogged worth a damn in a month so get ready to be absolutely OVERLOADED with images of my children. And me. And stuff. And things. Oh and food porn. YES. Food. Porn.
Off we go.
I tend to lose track of what I’ve told you between here and instagram, where I am a certified photo whore, and facebook, where I occasionally stop in to to post a video or photo or to complain about exhaustion or attempt to be witty for 30 seconds. Generally failing by the way. SO if you’re inclined, and have an iphone, follow me on IG… I’m jonie (the ‘E’ is for Edelman. That’s my last name. And it’s means NOBLEMAN in German. Which I am not. Though I am in fact German) or alternatively if you like, add me on facebook… Go click over there —-> (if you can’t see my little photo and mini bio with social media links then click up there on the header to go back to the homepage where those things will magically appear because I haven’t gotten this problem fixed with the page yet AND then go add me on facebook and IG. Annnd breath.)
And you can see awesome stuff like me posting a video of Ella dancing to MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This. Yeah. That happened.
Annnnyway. The garden is planted:
It hasn’t been doing as well as I’d hoped because, well basically, we live on dirt that has no life left in it. It’s dead dirt if there is such a thing as dirt that is dead. I suspect given the location of our house that once some tree probably grew here. Walnut. Or Peach. Or cotton (not a tree just a bush). Or corn. Or any combination of all of those things. In any event, the soil is devoid of nutrient and hard like a rock. I meant to plant a nice crop of peas in the winter that I could till in to enrich the soil but alas, as is so often my
excuse reason these days, I was exhausted.
I wasn’t too exhausted to bake these:
It seems that no matter how exhausted I am I can find time to whip up a flippin cupcake. Oh how lucky for me.
IN OTHER news… The cherry tree never lets me down. See:
Oh well except for the fact the the birds pecked every GODFORSAKENMOTHERFLIPPIN cherry. And then, when they had what the could reach before the dog chased them off, the ants found the cherries and ate the rest. So in the end I ate 5 cherries. They were delicious though, those 5 little beauties.
Also my roses didn’t seem to mind the shit soil:
So yay. Only downside there is they only bloom once. WHHHHY? Why can’t they bloom all summer? David Austen MUST know that would absolutely MAKE MY LIFE.
Oh AND someone, praise the little baby Jesus in the manger, got TEETH. FINALLY. TWO OF THEM.
Soooo of course everyone is sleeping peacefully through the night now.
Yeah. No. Still not sleeping.
Cest la vie.
He turned 13. God. Help. Me. Oh and apparently he taught himself to play the trombone in 60 seconds. Though to be fair, he already knew how to play the trumpet. So there’s that. See:
He’s the ubercool kid in the Spy sunglasses. With the hair. Oh the hair. Also he’s taller than me now. And yesterday we were talking about divorce and families (as that is happening to a couple of families we know recently) and how it gets easier with time and he said (AND I QUOTE) “MOM, divorce is a weight I carry upon my shoulders. Constantly. It’s like an EMOTIONAL BACKPACK. It’s a BACKPACK of EMOTION. Do you hear what I’m saying?”
Uh yeah. I hear you dude. Annnnnd the Oscar goes to…..
He. Is. Awesome.
So anyway he wanted chocolate cake for his birthday. With Chocolate frosting. With chocolate on top. Was I exhausted? Did I bake it?
For his birthday we got him the coolest guitar EVAH. Cause oh yeah, he plays that too.
You may notice the strings are missing. Yes, it IS difficult to play a guitar with no strings, thank you for recognizing. They are missing BECAUSE 4 days after we bought him said guitar, it fell out of the back of my MONSTER Sequoia and broke in two pieces like a 90 year old hip (actually to be fair those usually break in more than two pieces. Poor fragile elderly ladies. God love em). SO yeah. Bummer. Like bad. We are fixing it now. Thank GOD my husband is a musical GENIUS. Phew.
Anyway that kid… He looks a little like me.
Just a little EXACTLY LIKE ME. Poor kid.
She thinks she looks just like her dad.
Uh huh. Sure.
Oh also I made some stuff:
That’s a necklace.
Is a pillowcase. Which will soon be available in my etsy shop. Where there is now absolutely not one SINGLE thing.
Yes. Hens. For eggs. I needed one more thing to do.
Oh and one last thing. This happened.
That, my friends, is Stef. You may know her as Stef from Hear Me Roar but I know her just as Stef, the girl who was one year behind me in school. And now, I’m so pleased to say (ahem some 20 + years later) I also know her as friend.
Until next month, or you know, the next time i bake something, thanks for coming along.
xo ~ j
*I walked around all day with my nursing bra hanging open. Unaware. That is how much time my bra spends open.
* I shaved my legs (it was newsworthy). I did not cut myself (also newsworthy).
* My 12 year old son is texting a girl. A female. He claims she’s not his girlfriend but I saw him text her a rose. Suspect. Highly suspect.
* I caught him doing push-ups. Oh. Dear. God.
* My 11 year old son got completely ready for school without any prompting. And also without pants on (inspiring my future book… Don’t Forget Your Pants).
* My 15 year old daughter started drivers training. Sigh.
* I hope bald is coming back because the baby pulled out half the hair on the right side of my head.
* One of our stupid dogs attacked the other stupid dog and I almost broke my arm trying to separate them. I am not a fan of our dogs right now. Or any dogs for that matter. Or the cat. In fact, the only animals I’m feeling any good about are the fish, and one of them died. Crap.
* I had to pee (at least once a day) but the baby was in the wrap so I peed while babywearing. In fact I also swept, cooked and dusted babywearing. I would have showered babywearing if my sling was waterproof (and yes they do make those).
* I made Henry the Hoot Owl. But I had to do it with a baby on my lap which means I stabbed myself with knitting needles no less than 7 times.
* I went almost an entire day without water. I had coffee and iced tea. That’s all. And they weren’t even caffeinated. I didn’t realize it until 9:15 pm. By then I had a headache. (I hope the Man isn’t reading this or I’m busted)
* I made rice krispie treats.
* I ate rice krispie treats for breakfast.
* I ate rice krispie treats for dinner.
* I probably ate rice krispie treats for lunch but I’m not admitting it.
* One night I served the 15 year old (who had to leave for an activity before dinner was done) a plate of mexican rice, a rice krispie treat and a banana. It looked as bad as it sounds.
* I started to write a tutorial for the owl I mentioned above. I got the first two lines written. So far, that’s it. It goes like this: Step One: Get some yarn. Step two: Get some size 3 knitting needles. (More on this later)
* The 11 year old told us he was learning about dictators that are “mean and crazy” also that he would like to be a dictator, but a “nice one” because he doesn’t want to be shot or hung. Awesome. It’s good to have dreams.
* I fell into the big curbside trash can. Like inside of it. I don’t really want to talk about it.
* Did I mention the rice krispie treats?
Oh also because I’ve been such a good wife and mommy (or you know, because I was looking for an excuse, like I FELL IN A TRASH CAN) I bought myself this lovely book:
Then someone spilled syrup on it.
So readers… what happened to you in the last week?
Hang in folks,
PS I love Jane Austen. Who doesn’t love Jane Austen? OK I mean what LADY doesn’t love Jane Austen? If you don’t love Jane Austen you should buy this book anyway because it’s so purdy.
PPS It’s been one the best weeks of my life.