It’s like html only not exactly.
It’s how I feel about decoding the code. Writing the code. Reading the code. Code in general.
I’ve been working on the blog off and on and on and on for like ever. OK it’s only been a couple of weeks but it feels like seven lifetimes. Why you ask? Well because I just apparently can’t do things the simple way. For example: I could have simply just found a template (or wordpress theme if you prefer that term) and added my things in the sidebar, added my own header image and bingo, done. But no. No. No. NO. I can’t do that. Because that would just make sense.
So what I had to do is find a basic template that essentially had like two things I liked and then completely change it to meet my needs. For the seasoned blogger, like my friend Emily over at Joyful Abode, this wouldn’t present much of a problem but for me, the baby blogger, HTML might as well be Catonese. In fact i think this is css which tells you how little I know. In any case, before I found the template I like I had to go through no less than 173 templates that I didn’t like. Good. God. I need an intervention.
The Man thinks I might be losing my mind. I’m afraid he’s right. Bless his heart. Finally I had to walk away from the Blog entirely because the Blog had superseded my need for water, food and sleep (that is a bit of an exaggeration… I did sleep. Some.). The baby was permanently glued to my lap and because she had actual NEEDS that NEED to be met, I met them, so that I didn’t feel like the worst mother in history, while holding my own pee for three hours.
I congratulated myself for two hours after finally figuring out how to change the font size of my nav bar. From 11pt to 14pt. Which is hardly even noticeable. It took me like 30 minutes. Seriously. I’m that good. (That’s not good. Like at all.) It would have taken the Man 2 minutes. Never mind that I could have just had him do it for me. But noooo. I have to do it the hard way.
Every. Mother. Flippin. Time.
(Plus he’s in the middle of some kind of PayPal crisis at work. And when I say crisis I mean CRISIS. The equivalent of a Paypal Code Blue. )
Anyway, in light of my most sincere desire to never do things the easy way (for example, I’m making refried beans from scratch, despite the fact that no one has ever complained about having the canned ones) I am STILL trying to add the sidebar, what presently can only be seen on the about me page, to the entire format.
So far it’s been: at the end of the page, at the top of the page between the posts, on top of the posts and at one point, actually BEHIND the posts. I don’t how I even did that last one. This code writing thing is amazing. One line, properly (or in my case improperly) placed and you got a sidebar (OR you’ve got a big ol jumbled ass mess of crap). The Man does this All. Day. Long. Secretly I wish I understood it because I actually like it. Put this line here and something appears over here. I feel like I’ve found the secret decoder ring of the internet.
While you wait for the sidebar, I apologize. I took a break to make cookies.
I mean I’m not EATING them but you know, the kids should feel like their mother hasn’t been swallowed by her laptop.
Back to the blog ya’ll.
This is going to be a little something for me.
I’ll put up a super duper easy anyonecandoit tutorial soon.
In the meantime the blog is in it’s beta stages. My apologies.
Thanks for being patient while I lose my mind while trying to fix layout.
*I walked around all day with my nursing bra hanging open. Unaware. That is how much time my bra spends open.
* I shaved my legs (it was newsworthy). I did not cut myself (also newsworthy).
* My 12 year old son is texting a girl. A female. He claims she’s not his girlfriend but I saw him text her a rose. Suspect. Highly suspect.
* I caught him doing push-ups. Oh. Dear. God.
* My 11 year old son got completely ready for school without any prompting. And also without pants on (inspiring my future book… Don’t Forget Your Pants).
* My 15 year old daughter started drivers training. Sigh.
* I hope bald is coming back because the baby pulled out half the hair on the right side of my head.
* One of our stupid dogs attacked the other stupid dog and I almost broke my arm trying to separate them. I am not a fan of our dogs right now. Or any dogs for that matter. Or the cat. In fact, the only animals I’m feeling any good about are the fish, and one of them died. Crap.
* I had to pee (at least once a day) but the baby was in the wrap so I peed while babywearing. In fact I also swept, cooked and dusted babywearing. I would have showered babywearing if my sling was waterproof (and yes they do make those).
* I made Henry the Hoot Owl. But I had to do it with a baby on my lap which means I stabbed myself with knitting needles no less than 7 times.
* I went almost an entire day without water. I had coffee and iced tea. That’s all. And they weren’t even caffeinated. I didn’t realize it until 9:15 pm. By then I had a headache. (I hope the Man isn’t reading this or I’m busted)
* I made rice krispie treats.
* I ate rice krispie treats for breakfast.
* I ate rice krispie treats for dinner.
* I probably ate rice krispie treats for lunch but I’m not admitting it.
* One night I served the 15 year old (who had to leave for an activity before dinner was done) a plate of mexican rice, a rice krispie treat and a banana. It looked as bad as it sounds.
* I started to write a tutorial for the owl I mentioned above. I got the first two lines written. So far, that’s it. It goes like this: Step One: Get some yarn. Step two: Get some size 3 knitting needles. (More on this later)
* The 11 year old told us he was learning about dictators that are “mean and crazy” also that he would like to be a dictator, but a “nice one” because he doesn’t want to be shot or hung. Awesome. It’s good to have dreams.
* I fell into the big curbside trash can. Like inside of it. I don’t really want to talk about it.
* Did I mention the rice krispie treats?
Oh also because I’ve been such a good wife and mommy (or you know, because I was looking for an excuse, like I FELL IN A TRASH CAN) I bought myself this lovely book:
Then someone spilled syrup on it.
So readers… what happened to you in the last week?
Hang in folks,
PS I love Jane Austen. Who doesn’t love Jane Austen? OK I mean what LADY doesn’t love Jane Austen? If you don’t love Jane Austen you should buy this book anyway because it’s so purdy.
PPS It’s been one the best weeks of my life.